Many parents desire that their child be the best - in deen and in dunya. Success is attained only by the tawfeeq of Allah, however in order to be worthy of this tawfeeq, one must put in the necessary effort. Allah (swt) says:
وَيَزِيدُ اللَّهُ الَّذِينَ اهْتَدَوْا هُدًى ۗ
And Allah increases those who were guided, in guidance [Maryam: 76]
Therefore, in order to materialize this desire, a mother must strive her utmost from the very beginning. Many people have a passive attitude towards this issue, and they fail to see that the tarbiyah of a child begins from the womb. They delay until the child is born, or until he has reached a certain age.
Perhaps the reason behind this is that many 'first-time mothers' are so preoccupied with their own self, dealing with nausea and fatigue that they cannot 'focus' on the child. We must realize that pregnancy is a normal part of life. Every person who came into this world except for Adam and Hawwa were a result of a woman being pregnant. Therefore, a pregnant woman is not a sick woman. She is not suffering from an illness, rather she is undergoing a certain condition. It is true that for some women, this condition is extremely challenging to cope with. However, if a person has a purpose, then dealing with these challenges becomes easier.
If a woman begins to focus on her child in her pregnancy instead of making herself the center of all her attention, life will become easier!
Here are a few things that I find extremely necessary for any mother to ensure that the child in her womb receives a good development: nabaatan hasanaa:
1. Pray.
Ask Allah to give you a child that is righteous. And pray with a lot of determination and hope, the determination like that of Zakariyya (As), and hope like that of Ibrahim (as).
Zakariyya (as) said:
وَلَمْ أَكُن بِدُعَائِكَ رَبِّ شَقِيًّا
and never have I been in my supplication to You, my Lord, unhappy. [Maryam: 4]
and Ibrahim (as) said:and never have I been in my supplication to You, my Lord, unhappy. [Maryam: 4]
إِنَّهُ كَانَ بِي حَفِيًّا
Indeed, He is ever gracious to me. [Maryam: 47]
Indeed, He is ever gracious to me. [Maryam: 47]
Before a child is born, his fate is decreed. The Prophet (saw) said:
“...The angel is then sent to him and he breathes into him the spirit. He is commanded to issue four decrees: to record his sustenance, his life span, his deeds, and [whether he will be] unhappy [by entering Hell] or happy [by entering Paradise]...' [Bukhari]
Ask Allah to give you a child who is sa'eed, happy and successful, fortunate by entering into Jannah. Make dua:
رَبِّ هَبْ لِي مِن لَّدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةً طَيِّبَةً ۖ إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ الدُّعَاءِ
"My Lord, grant me from Yourself a good offspring. Indeed, You are the Hearer of supplication." [Aal e Imran: 38]
"My Lord, grant me from Yourself a good offspring. Indeed, You are the Hearer of supplication." [Aal e Imran: 38]
2. Recite Quran.
Your child begins hearing sounds while still in the womb. He can hear you. How nice it would be that he becomes familiar with the Qur'an even before he is born.
This is not just necessary for the benefit of your child, but also for your benefit.
Along with the recitation, also listen to the Qur'an as much as possible, when cooking, walking or resting - the more exposure, the better it is!
3. Engage yourself in various acts of worship
Whether it is dhikr, or praying sunan and nawafil, your ibadah will have a positive affect on your child. Sometimes, due to the difficulties of pregnancy many women tend to ignore ibadah. This is a huge mistake. When you deprive yourself of spiritual nourishment, you will only grow weaker.
We learn that when the wife of Zakariyya (as) conceived, he was unable to speak for three days and nights. During this time, he commanded his people to engage in the Tasbeeh of Allah morning and evening.
When the parents are righteous, then Allah provides for the child and preserves him even when the parents have died. We learn in Surah Kahf:
وَأَمَّا الْجِدَارُ فَكَانَ لِغُلَامَيْنِ يَتِيمَيْنِ فِي الْمَدِينَةِ وَكَانَ تَحْتَهُ كَنزٌ لَّهُمَا وَكَانَ أَبُوهُمَا صَالِحًا فَأَرَادَ رَبُّكَ أَن يَبْلُغَا أَشُدَّهُمَا وَيَسْتَخْرِجَا كَنزَهُمَا رَحْمَةً مِّن رَّبِّكَ ۚ
And as for the wall [that Khadir fixed], it belonged to two orphan boys in the city, and there was beneath it a treasure for them, and their father had been righteous. So your Lord intended that they reach maturity and extract their treasure, as a mercy from your Lord. [Kahf:82]
4. Increase in your knowledge
Read books, listen to lectures, attend classes, do whatever you can to increase your knowledge. If its your first child then even more so, because you might not get the same opportunity again.
Whatever a woman does in her pregnancy, the child is very likely to get affected by it, so read good stuff.
5. Busy yourself in productive, beneficial work
Again, this will have a positive affect on both you and baby. The more occupied you are, the more easier it will be to cope with the difficulties of pregnancy.
The more mentally and spiritually stimulated you are, the more nourishment your child will receive.
